Essay

You OK?

By Mary Andres Russell

When our granddaughter was only three years old, she would occasionally ask me a sweet and endearing question, “You OK?” She would be in the other room playing and would call out, “You OK Mimi?” She was checking-in with care and sweet compassion.

When my stepson was 16, he played basketball in a church league. My husband was assistant coach, and I was privileged to sit on the bench as scorekeeper. I noticed that every time a player came out of the game for a substitution, the head coach asked, “You OK?” A show of concern, a checking-in.

“You OK?” Such a simple question. If we listen to the answer, we can create an opportunity for connecting and healing.

Recently, a friend told me about her college-aged daughter, who has struggled for years with anxiety. My friend and her husband provide support through encouraging texts. When the daughter steps out into new or challenging situations, she texts her parents, “Am I OK?” They respond with a resounding “Yes!!!” or longer messages of encouragement.

Compassion is taking the time to help others heal. People heal through conversation, through their tears, through prayer, and through caring concern.

In 1982, my father died after a lengthy battle with cancer. For the next six months, my mother told anyone who would listen to the story of his struggle. In telling the story, little by little, she was healing.

By truly listening, acknowledging others’ feelings, and not necessarily trying to fix them, we can help others heal. “You OK?” This month, ask this simple question, listen to the answer, open your heart, and create a space for healing.